Taking a page from some of the greatest and most pornographic names in baseball, Pedro Beato has taken the baton from such luminaries as Rusty Kuntz, Dick Pole, and the infamous Pete LaCock (these names are real and they all appear on baseball cards) to carry on the tradition of dirty sounding names in baseball. Pedro Beato is a relief pitcher for the New York Mets and made his major league debut on April 1, 2011. Beato was originally drafted in the 17th round by the Mets in 2005 but didn't sign. He was drafted again by the Orioles in 2006, this time in the first round. However, the Mets really wanted ol' Petey Beato and drafted him in the 2010 Rule 5 draft. I guess someone in the Mets front office really wanted Pedro Beato to be on the same team as R.A. Dickey, who is probably very thankful that his parents didn't name him Hugh or U.R.A.
With Pedro Beato now coming in out of the bullpen Mets announcers are going to have to try to keep themselves from teenage hijinx when he comes in to relieve Mr. R.A. Dickey. I can just imagine it now:
Mets announcer #1: "And here comes Pedro Beato out of the pen to relieve Dickey. Dickey wasn't that great tonight, not getting his balls to knuckle and so Terry Collins has to turn to Beato to hopefully get the job done."
Mets announcer #2:"Yeah, Keith, reminds me of my ex-wife. I often had to bring in my own Pedro Beato to get the job done because she couldn't get my Dickey's balls to knuckle either."
Mets announcer #1:"Ummm, can you say that on the air?"
Mets announcer #2:"Well, I hope so because I just did. Anyway, let's take at what kind of grip Beato uses on his fastball. I just have't seen a kid make his balls drop like that in a long time."
Mets announcer #1: "Well folks, this is probably our last broadcast."
Oh, the fun that could be had with this one. Only in sports would we be exposed (pun intended) to these great names. Here are some more dirty names throughout sports:
1. Misty Hyman. Misty was an Olympic swimmer in the Sydney games in 2000. Is there a better name for a female swimmer? I think not!
2. Lucious Pusey. Lucious was a middle linebacker at I-AA Eastern Illinois. He has since changed his name to Lucious Seymour. I do suppose it is better than changing his first name to Seymour. And for the announcers sake, thankfully he isn't a running back. The last thing they need to be saying is "Pusey takes it up the hole and scores!"
3. B.J. Johnson. Mr. Johnson was a wide receiver at the University of Texas, otherwise known as the Longhorns. Johnson was drafted by the Broncos and spent time with the Buccaneers. Johnson, if I recall correctly never played a real NFL game leaving his coaches to look back and say, "B.J. Johnson just sucked while he was on our team. We had to let him go, he just sucked."
4. Dick Cox. Mr. Cox, no relation to Mr. Johnson, played baseball for the Brooklyn Dodgers from 1925-26. He handled his bat pretty well and managed to hit .314 for his career. But he just had no lasting power in the big leagues.
5. Dick Trickle. No, you don't have to go to the doctor. Mr. Trickle was a race car driver back in the '70's and '80's. I can only imagine what it must have been like to be a driver back then and have your crew chief yell in your headset that "You got Dick Trickle coming up behind you!"
6. Dick Bumpas. Ol' Dickey Bumpas is an assistant at Texas Christian University. That's right, he coaches for the Horned Frogs. Dick Bumpas is a coach on the staff (pun intended) for the Horned Frogs. You can't make this stuff up.
7. Dickey Nutt. Coach Nutt is the head coach for Southeast Missouri State. Ahh, imagine the pride when a basketball recruit says he gonna go play for Dickey Nutt. All men play for that I thought.
8. B.J. Lovett. Don't we all? Lovett was a wide receiver at Michigan State back in 2001.
9. Wang Manli. Believe it or not this a female speed skater who won a silver medal in the 2006 Olympics. Last name first paperwork always led to confusion. Manli, Wang, sex: female. Poor Manli still doesn't possess a drivers license because the Chinese DMV thinks she is playing a game.
10. Dick Seaman. Dick Seaman was a pre-WWII grand prix driver. Mr. Dick Seaman met a tragic end as he crashed into a tree and died. His death was definitely premature. What's worse is he died because of wood!
Well, folks, my mind has left the gutter. Hope you got a good laugh outta this one. I did.
No comments:
Post a Comment